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I heard you guys like reading patch notes... So how about a fake one?
General / QoL
Dark Mode is now available as a setting and on by default. We also tied down the guy (who wrote the flashingly bright note about seizures) in a opthalmic speculum, in a dark room while opening and closing the said bright note for 3 hours.
Light Mode uses grayish / genshin-impact-blue color scheme.
Users can now map keys in settings.
New user center setting : Allow Teyvat Times to publish my in-game alias (not username) and last 4 digits of my UID (When you set a world record of hunting fowl and etc.)
Added setting for persistent aiming mode. If turned on, your character will try to get back to aiming mode even when you dash or you are knocked back.
Going in and out of aiming mode is now much smoother. You can still dash, cast skills and still keep the cursor on. Inspired by Tombraider? Idk why I wrote this.
When crafting an item and you run out of materials for it, the item selected stays in place and will not scroll all the way down.
When choosing characters for the abyss, the preview button to see which enemies you will face is also there.
When finishing an abyss floor, you can return to the abyss menu without ending the "run" to collect rewards or browse around.
Fixed a bug with sucrose/xinqiu bonus materials when crafting.
Fixed a bug with razor's c1 constellation not increasing his damage and not displaying a buff indicator.
All buffs are now grouped/stacked by icon category, attack/defense/regen etc. Hovering the cursor in the grouped icon will display verbose info. (e.g. thrilling dragon tales, character talent, gouba pepper etc).
Daily Login Bonus is permanent.
Claim All and Repeat Buttons are now available in Blacksmith, Battlepass, Expeditions and the Like.
VA/CV list is displayed instead of current selected voice language in character details. (e.g. if you go to a character screen, and have english voice language, you will only see english voice actor and you have to change language just to find out who the cn and jp voice actor is)
Hide ui/hud setting and dedicated hotkey is added for creating fan-made cinematics.
Unless it is an artifact or a weapon, an item previously recorded and consumed will no longer display as "new"
Added shield bar on top of health bar
Added party icon on the top right ui and a dedicated hotkey to switch parties
Added hotkey to switch to your saved Comps 1 to 4
Resin is now always visible at the top of UI (without needing to open up the map)
Moved UID a bit further down by 2px so it doesn't overlap with the buttons
Changed UID Opacity by 75% and has grayish text color, inspired by "windows is not activated"
Added a space character on the launcher download text (e.g. "Downloading75%" into "Downloading 75%")
Bonus damage from element-affected status (e.g. "deal 15% increased damage against cryo affected enemies" are enclosed in parentheses
Expedition Slot Remembers Last Character Used
Expedition Slot Remembers Last Hour Used
All map objects are navigatable for consistent experience. and are not overridden by quests. You will always be directed towards the one you choose.
Navigated Map Object Always Display Their Distance and Light Beacon (e.g. Leylines not having those)
Added enemy weakspot zones with varying degrees (green,orange,red) in the adventurer's handbook, if you kill 150 of a certain enemy type. Humanoid types generally have the head as a weakspot.
Fraction of Fraction of a bullet time effect and a red particle glows when you hit the weakest spot of an enemy.
Reading and Clearing Story/Voice Lines syncs across all devices you own.
Statues' Remaning Healing Energy now Visible on the Tower Itself. Dat Glowy thingies deplete when you use them.
Statue's First Healing Tick Revives Fallen Characters by 10hp%. Second Healing Tick is Full Restoration or until Remaining Healing Energy Allows it.
Critical strike Indicator
Enemies in the handbook are dynamically arranged by type , then alphabetically. All hypostasis are lined up.
All enemies are displayed in the handbook regardless of what region you currently are.
Journal (J) is now binded to (F1), since this is where you look commissions for rather than the Adventurer Handbook (F1)
Journal , Handbook and Archive are compressed and combined.
We bought a time machine and went back to the time when we did the hypostasis event. The last challenge in the event is now a new hypostasis after the three old hypostasis.
Andrius's Boss Fight is now properly a Trounce Domain, For consistency with other weekly boss.
Changing a Team Member in your active roster won't override that slot in your saved team comp
Active Roster and Saved Team Comps are now a seperate thing
Selecting a Saved Team Comp will replace the Active Roster (so you can replace one member before "deploying")
Clicking Deploy in a Saved Team Comps will immediately send you back to the game
Switching Party Members is smoother than an oiled tits smooth, regardless of network latency. Especially in Single Player Mode.
Resource and Player Position in the map has better visual clarity. (Imagine klee collecting wolf berries or philly mushrooms)
Option to adjust map size , and resource/player icons.
PC , map pin size collision reduced. If I clicked Taishan Mansion, I meant Taishan Mansion.
Mora , Artifact Limits and etc always visible in inventory screen regardless of which tab you are on
Blacksmith remembers the quantity of ores you refine
Adventurer's Handbook remembers the last filter you used when browsing enemies (all, elite ,boss)
Adventurer's Handbook points you the next enemy you are hunting (when you kill 1 ruin guard, you dont have to open handbook again to see the next one in the map)
Adventure's Handbook knows ALL of the elite enemy locations. The list seem to be manually added instead of dynamic, possibly due to chest concealment similar mechanic. If you hunt ruin guards, I think the book only lists 4 of them in the whole map.
Gameplay
Training dummy added near favonius hq. You have to do a story quest and spend resource to have it constructed.
Enemies now have a difficulty rating. The higher the difficulty rating is, the higher character xp/gold they will provide. XP scales off your adventure rank level. Extra Large enemies have a guaranteed chance to drop 1-4* artifacts. They will respawn longer as a consequence. It doesn't make sense that a huge lawachurl and smol hilichurl both give 20xp.
First and Second Dash now have different color indicators.
If you used 2 dashes consecutively, a subtle glow/indicator pops around your character for when you are able to dash again. Inspired by Deadcells.
Added Treasure Compass for Dragonspire.
All excess anemoculus/geoculus/dendroculus and crimson agate can now be traded in the antiques shop.
Treasure Compass will automatically change depending on what region you are on. If you don't have a treasure compass for that region, it will remain unchanged from what is the last equipped.
Treasure Compass search radius is increased region wide. It will point the "nearest" treasure chest's direction. The color of the direction changes the farther you are.
Treasure Compass will now consider puzzles as treasure, and display a different indicator. It won't tell you what steps to take to open it, though.
Added a domain for gladiator and wanderer's troupe artifact sets. Artifact drop rate from world bosses are FURTHER reduced. Weekly boss artifact drops are unaffected.
Prototypes will now drop at least once in the last weekly boss you face, if you are unlucky. The chance to acquire multiple prototypes within a week is unchanged. Drop rate is reduced consequently.
World Boss Artifact Drop Rates are now visible in the adventurer's handbook.
Prototype Drop Rates are now visible.
Domain Artifact Drop Rates are now visible.
1-3* Weapons are now craftable. They will require a shit ton of ores and materials. Cold Steel for instance will require 200 pieces of mint.
Added 6 new craftable weapons. Of course it will require prototypes you f2p piece of shit.
Craftables, Shops and Loot have higher priority versus signboards and npc.
Monsters and Enemies have higher priority (when attacking or casting skills) versus ores and flaming/freezing flowers and other resource objects.
You can now equip up to 3 gadgets.
New Action : long pressing a gadget opens up Gadget Wheel to switch gadgets without opening the inventory. Gadget goes into long cooldown.
Domains now consider your condensed resin before saying you are out of resin.
After completing a domain challenge, The start challenge object will respawn in the center of the arena. Game will no longer go into a loading screen. This is for the console peasants.
When claiming domain challenge rewards, it also displays how much condensed resin you have (so you know you can still do 1 more, or gtfo) when it asks if you want to continue or leave
Anemo Hypostasis will die if you manage to collect all the orbs, for a more consistent experience with other hypostasis.
Weekly boss timers are now consistent. (Some have none , some at top, some at bottom)
Dvalin's Mini Cutscene will hold your altitude (if you are gliding) when it triggers
Childe's Mini Cutscene is now automatically skippable (named "skip when already viewed once" found in settings).
Food is now sortable by type.
When choosing a revival food, the icon sizes are reduced and displayed in a grid rather than a long line. When in single player mode it slows down time. Like witcher 3 or tomb raider.
MRE can now hold all types of food, up to 3 slots.
You can long click/hold the MRE button and switch the food it holds. Goes into long cooldown.
Charged Longsword and Bow Attacks (for claymoreless comps) will now allow you to mine ores more effectively. This affects rock shield wall hilichurls as well.
No one uses claymore charged attacks, even with stunned enemies. Claymore charged attacks now deal increasing damage the longer it was charged uninterrupted. You will get staggered and take more damage as a consequence. The last attack of a charged attack deals more damage and wipes half of the planet's population.
Constellation can now be toggled on/off
Gacha / Shop
The first cheapest crystal top up (60+60) has been buffed to (80+80) crystals. We realized it wasn't even enough for a single pull and we laughed until our sides hurt. As a tiny token of goodwill this will retroactively affect everyone who purchased this item for n amount of times the person has purchased this item.
All in-game currencies (primo/fate/genesis/future except mora) are always displayed in the topright corner when wishing and shopping.
Pity Counter. When it reaches 75 it glows like christmas.
Gifting of purchase is now possible. In the case of chargebacks , the gifter gets banned. Gifts can only be sent after 60 days of purchase, and usable by the recipient after a week. Maximum of 1 gift per month.
Gifter must have a track record of >= $20 of purchase within the last 3 months.
Gifting is a sensitive topic. Chargeback scams fucks up game companies, banks and third party payment platforms.
Purchase history and total is added to track expenses.
Gambling addicition reminders when you rage spend. Also alerts a mhy employee when huge purchases are being made in error. It displays a huge red alert on the employees screen.
In Consideration
Reworked Elemantal Mastery to also increase Elemental Skill Damage by 25% (base, some current/future characters might interact with less or more) of your total Elem Mastery. Consequently, Skill Damage from Attack Ratios are lowered. Think of ad/ap ratios in League of Legends.
Character skills to deal compound damage of physical+element when using a weapon (e.g. diluc smash bouncing off pyro slimes, despite his big sword being sharp and shiny)
Items
Wind Catcher Gadget now refills with anemo energy particles.
Prototype Aminus/Archaic's proc cooldown refinement is restored. (Used to be 15/14/13/12/10)
Boar Traps are now craftable and equippable as a gadget. You can leave it up to 48 hours to check if you caught something.
Cast net are now craftable and equippable as a gadget. Can be used to catch multiple fish and crystal flies.
Crab Traps , can be left in the wild for 48 hours and catches 3 crabs per trap.
Inflatable balloon for safe swimming. Requires anemo slime materials.
Portable towers no longer expire.
Portable towers max deployed count is increased up to 5.
Condensed Resin can now be used on World Boss
Condensed Resin cap increased to 5.
Artifact Inventory Limit increased to 5000.
Weapon Cooldown Indicator displayed as status icon (sacrificial sword, archaic, etc)
Seelie Companions give 1% passive bonus CharXP(Blue), CompanionXP(Purple), Mora(Gold)
Crafting Table no longer consumable
Portable Cooker no longer consumable (requires fuel , 1 fire stamen = 3 uses)
Portable Warmer no longer consumable (requires fuel , 1 fire stamen = 3 uses)
Items mined are ores
Refined ores are ingots
Option to refine Magical Crystal Chunk without resin, but with immensely increased cost and time
Coop
You can see the general direction and how far an ally is like in pubg.
In-game voice chat for random players in matchmaking
Battlepass / 12 Episode Anime
Battlepass can now have excess points up to 3000xp , for the times when you do your reputation bounty and missions earlier before the next battlepass comes out.
When a new Battlepass starts, it starts on mondays , so no mission gets left out. All excess days until the next new-battlepass-monday are dynamic and flexible.
When using a condensed resin in a domain, it counts as 2 domains cleared in the Battlepass
Cooking ingredients (sugar, bacon, cheese, etc) counts as cooking in the Battlepass
You don't need to switch tabs in the battlepass when using claim all. Clicking claim all, claims all.
New battlepass campaign for 12 episode anime. Milestones are displayed on website and forum. Sales earned are transparent in game and website. Inspired by dota 2 international.
Percentage of battlepass campaign sales will go to anime funding.
Having at least 1 season of anime puts mihoyo in the "mainstream" status in the leagues of Fate, Princess Connect, Grand Blue etc. It solidifies the IP.
Quests
Option to abandon story quests (restart from scratch) to prevent blocking of coop
Repeatable Quests Ideas below. Coop and matchmaking is enabled. 15~30 minutes long, walking pace. Not mandatory for daily activity/event/battlepass for people with little time to play. Gives worthwile rewards (3 pieces of adventurer's wit, 5k mora etc)
Long escort caravan mission, from Mondstadt all the way to Liyue. From Springvale to Liyue. People and Caravan must survive. Enjoy the beautiful world of Teyvat, optional pit stops, coop chat/discord, region guard checkpoints and enemy ambush. Multiple client routes available. Go through dragonspire for a shorter, but more dangerous path. Get harassed by Fatui at borders. Board a ship and load the caravan. Get checked by Border Patrol for smuggled goods and diseases.
Repeatable Town defense without towers. Defend the Town from hordes of invaders. Something fun with coop.
Fatui and Friends Battle Royale. All npcs and doors disabled. You and the fatui bots duke it out. Healing only comes from special food that you pick up. Matchmaking enabled.
Beach Defense. Prevent the Fatui from invading the coastline. Your friends rain arrows from starsnatch cliff.
Beach to Mondstadt/Springvale goods escort services.
Elemental Reactions
Vaporize's Steam deals aoe damage
Overloads damage (electro->pyro) now deals x1.5 (pyro) damage
Overloads damage (pyro->electro) now deals x2 (pyro) damage.
Overload's knockback decreased significantly
Superconduct's damage (electro->cryo) now deals 2x (cryo) damage
Superconduct's damage (cryo->electro) now deals 1.5x (cryo) damage
Superconduct's negative armor debuff is moved to Melt
Melt gains the negative armor debuff due to the sudden temperature change, making surfaces brittle.
Melt damage consequently reduced. (pyro->hydro) at x1.4% , (hydro->pyro) at x1.8%
Geo New Reaction : Smoldering Rock or something (pyro->geo)(reverse not applicable) deals x0.3 (pyro damage) on top of crystallize
Geo New Reaction : Mud or something (hydro->geo)(geo->hydro) deals x0.1 (geo damage) on top of crystallize, slows enemy movement
Geo New Reaction : Snow or something (hydro->geo)(reverse not applicable) deals x0.2 (cryo damage) on top of crystallize, slows enemy attack speed
Geo New Reaction : Seeds or something (dendro->geo) deals x0.1 (dendro damage) on top of crystallize, restores 3% of your hp. Or entangle. Prevents enemy movement (can still attacc and cast spells)
Enemies
Enemies inside domains and abyss have their return-to-spawn-point-then-regenerate-to-full-health disabled.
Enemy AI a bit smarter. Those with mobility skills (whopper, smol geovishap, cycin mages) won't follow you to drown in the water. The game will not check if you are wet , but if you are in a swimming state.
Hydro Abyss Mage's and Hydro Fatui Gunner's Hydro Barrier now takes the same damage rate/ratio from opposing elements (cryo,electro) for consistency.
Hydro barrier new opposing element : Geo. It makes it harder to maintain the water shield due to the mud soaking up the water and adding weight.
Boss Childe's Spirit Whale Attack generates water in the sides of the arena, pushing you towards the center. You must have enough stamina to keep dashing to the sides before he does this, or you will have to perfectly dodge the spirit whale attack.
Hydro SamaChurl now heals at a rate of +300/HoT per AR Milestone instead of percentage. This is for when you are hunting a LawaChurl Bounty that is near dead and healed to full health in 3 seconds. Having a fixed amount of healing ensures that it is big enough for the intended smaller enemies and portionally good enough for large enemies. The other option is to use different healing ratios for small and large enemies.
Queen of Pain , I mean Cycin Mages have a stagger window when they are about to cast their almost-undispellable shield
Zed , I mean Shadow Fatui Agent makes use of his shadows to dodge your attack sometimes.
Smol Geo Vishap now drops less geo shields
Smol Geo Vishap now uses his rolling attack near you, not 150m away from you.
Smol Geo Vishap now burrows a bit less frequently
Ruin Hunter doesn't stay in the air up and raining artillery forever , in consideration of bowless comps
Fatui Cryo and Hydro Gunner Turn Rate Reduced by 10% when on Spray Mode.
Primo GeoVishap now has a tired/exhausted animation, instead of standing still and looking at you and what life could have been for 10 seconds.
Primo GeoVishap spin attack now has a 0.2 dodge window (previously none) and Spin Radius Decreased by 100m.
Characters
Dvalin's Cutscene when you dispel his barrier is removed and much smoother. He just falls in place and no clipping.
Character's "Main Stat" is now visible in attributes. Previously you can only know it when ascending or when using google, or if you really have a big brain.
All characters passive talents are now combat related.
All characters now have their own cooking/exploration/crafting/smithing talents. It is possible not to have OR have multiple talents in each category. We get it , everyone can taste what a good gravy is, but not everyone can make a good gravy.
Ayaka
Alternate sprint binded to a different hotkey.
Yes I came from the future.
Albedo
Elevator can be activated to go up and down by using the F key.
C2 stack counter / indicator via particles (think of razor geo sigils)
C4 plunged attack covers albedo's sword in geo energy (like noelle, but smol)
C6 crystallize shield has a different shape (leaf)
Amber
Increased ultimate radius by a tiny bit.
Allow targeting of ulimate by holding the ultimate button.
If baron bunny is present in the ultimate radius, it will absorb all pyro damage and deal it as bonus damage when it blows up.
If baron bunny was "charged" with pyro rain and hit with a C2 charged shot, it will trigger a micheal bay explosion animation.
Barbara
Restored Barbara's Energetic Voice Lines
New Lines sold seperately as Dark Barbara™ , comes with a Dark Dress
C6 Revive indicator is now visible as a buff.
C4 now generates flying energy particles instead of instantly regaining energy. Mind you that this is a fucking nerf to this piece of shit healer that freezes you. It's just that there's no flying particles when you use this hero.
Beidou
Casting the elemental skill applies a strong taunt and re-initializes enemies attack loop.
Bullet Time effect added when triggering a perfect counter, when playing in single player mode.
The ultimate's chain lightning deals tiny spark damage if it didn't jump.
C2 chain lightning has a different color.
C4 buff is triggered when you do a perfect counter (Taking damage to activate a skill promotes bad gameplay)
C4 perfect counter grants the maximum damage bonus
C4 shield has a different color.
C6 has aura on the ground (inspired by Dota 2's Necrophos , but purple)
Bennet
C6 Ultimate pyro infusion just adds pyro damage to your attacks, and won't convert them fully into pyro.
C6 Ultimate restores up to 100% hp.
Childe
Improved manly posture when in aiming mode
C4 Riptide slash and flash uses different coloparticles/animation
C6 has an indicator when it works and when it is available
Chongyun
Cryo Field's Cryo infusion just adds cryo damage to your attacks, and won't convert them fully into cryo.
Diluc
What seriously? You really want more?
Fuck this guy in particular
Elemental Sword Duration Indicator added
C6 his flames has some bluish tint
Diona
Fixed shield duration bug and increased by additional 1.1 seconds per claw.
Shield ratio based off max hp increased by 10%
C2 reduces skill cooldown by -2 seonds (press) and -4 (hold). The coop shield is added by default out of the box. Anything coop should not be locked behind a paywall because it will hurt the game and fanbase.
C4 has been reworked to grant normal and aimed uncharged shots 25% chance to deal charged attack shots.
C6 radius is increased and uses a different color.
Fischl
Ultimate now deals tiny bit of damage per 0.2 seconds tick when making contact with enemies (aside from getting hit by lightning once)
Ultimate can fly/pass through thorn walls. I'm looking at you Dendro Samachurl.
Shadow Raven Let Night F---!!!
C4 Ultimate hp restored now scales off damage dealt by the ult.
Ganyu
holding the elemental skill allows you to aim and won't make you backdash
C4 Freezing Field changes color intensity per damage increase
C6 free frost charged arrow now works with normal unaimed attacks.
C6 uses a different particle color. Sometime it turns into a bazooka.
Jean
Reduced Increased swaying of boobs by a tiny amount while holding the skill. You can kinda feel them slapping against your face. You can almost describe their softness and warmth in a minimum of 10 pages apart from you going sommelier describing how deep her sweat tastes like.
Jean's Charged Attack Launch Height is too damn high that you cant even hit the enemy, so - Reworked Jean's Charged Attack : Holding the attack button launches the enemy in the air. If you keep holding it down you will perform 3 slashes in the air. If you let go early you will stay on the ground.
Base Attack Increased by +5
Jean can now pick up the slimes dropped by enemies and use it against them for a bighead move
Ultimate radius is increased
Ultimate Wall Mechanic Reversed. Enemies are now trapped inside. When you use your skill (usually to regain energy) you can air-wall slam them. Block Projectiles from outside.
If any of you actually played jean support, a normal person would use ult to heal, cast skill to regain energy, then switch back to other characters. It doesn't make fucking sense to push them outside your wind arena because you want to fight inside the swirl/healing zone.
Ultimate swirls every 0.2 seconds , depending on what elements are inside. Field Changes Color Each Time Like a Disco Ball
Ultimate now slowly succs enemies to the center(without lifting them up)
Ultimate Damage is consequently reduced.
C1 Uses a different colored windblast
C2 Buff Indicator
C4 uses a different color wind field
C6 Ultimate is now an aura and moves with you. To break away from "buffed area" convention.
C6 Ultimate will get you to keep the windsaber for the ult's duration
C6 Shield Buff Indicator via Particle and Status Icon
Kaeya
Base attack incresed by 5
Elemental Skill (Hold) Sprays Ice , think of Igni but Ice in Witcher 3 or DND's Burning Hands
C2 Icicles light up when you defeat an enemy indicating that it really works
C4 Barrier is of different shape
C6 uses a different icicle particle for bling purposes
Keqing
Aiming mode feels a lot smoother. You can aim while moving and cursor immediately shows and the kungfu pose is only done when throwing the stilleto.
When in single player mode, casting your ultimate produces a bullet time effect.
C4 Buff Indicator
C6 Description is confusing as fuck.
C6 Buff indicator
C6 Makes your sword light up like a lightsaber.
Klee
Imroved Torch/Bonfire/Campfire and the likes Lockon (if there's any to begin with)
Throwing Jumpty Dumpty provides 0.1s iframe during her spin
Ult is now no longer greedy. Pyro satellites remain when you switch characters, making our lovable klee open up for support options. Child support.
C4 is now manually triggered, Pressing q again will make her explode, bigger damage based off remaining duration. less duration left, less damage.
C6 klee uses different bombs
Lisa
A lingerie shop is opened in Mondstadt to change her pantsu, socks and garter belt style and colors. Black Leather Tight Suit™ Sold Seperately.
Option to wear glasses as a Librarian added.
Climbing voice volume is re-mastered in asmr microphone, in all languages.
Requires "i am of legal age" consent in the user center
Elemental skill (press) aoe slightly increased.
Base attack increased by 15.
Mona
Alternate dash is now binded to alt key.
Hydro Puppet now deals half damage upon cast and half damage upon explosion.
C6 normal attacks use a different attack animation.
MC (Anemo)
Palm vortex can be casted in midair to break your fall (but not propel you up)
MC (Geo)
When you overlap geo boulders (aimed mode) it will trigger the geo explosion of the older rock, then replace it with a new one
Ningguang
Holding the skill button surrounds her in mini jade screens , unable to perform any action until it is released or ends. Useful for cinematic stuff. Imagine tanking childe's whale attack. Or someone wants to recreate triple rashomon scene.
C6 has a chance to use different attack animation.
C6 star jade now resembles a primo gem.
Noelle
Elemental Sword Duration Indicator added
C1 heals have a special effect and voice line when conditions are met.
C2 upgrade uses a different charged attack animation.
C4 uses a different barrier color
C6 upgrade uses different ult (possibly red with the same hue as her skirt) color.
Qiqi
C2 reworked as -15% attack debuff
C4 reworked as -20% elemental resistance debuff
C6 cooldown/availability indicator.
C6 has a different bling/color
Razor
Transformation Duration Indicator added
C1 increased damage now really works
C1 now has a buff indicator that it really works
C2 now has a special crit indicator
C4 armor shred now has a (claw mark) armor shred indicator that it really works
C4 (hold) has increased damage so it doesn't feel left out. It also has electro explosions similar to when you mine an electric ore as a special effect to indicate that you are C4 and have a big PP.
C6 covers your sword with electricity (like diluc) when it is charged and ready
Yes I play razor a lot.
Sucrose
Fixed crafting bug not producing any bonus when using large quantities (say 100+)
Improved lock on when blowing off dandelion flowers. Idk how she keeps missing them even at point blank range, Hell , at any given range.
C1 if you overlap the wind nukes the second one will be a 0.1s delay then it will go off with a slightly bigger radius
C2 ult has a different color
C4 has an indicator that it works
C6 buff indicator
Venti
Wind current generated by skill (hold) allows him to fall slower without gliding, and allows him to shoot wind lasers. Ehe
C2 Charged Shot produces a bullet time effect when shot at point blank or if all 3 arrows hit a single enemy. Sometimes he draws the holy lyre and it transforms into a primitive shotgun.
C4 buff indicator.
C6 uses different vacuum color
Xiangling
Ultimate deals additional damage when cast at point blank because you get stab and bonk while she is twirling her spear.
C2 last attack leaves a flaming trail special effect (inspired by kyo or iori from king of fighters)
C6 upon cast, Xianling automatically does a speed-up full normal attack combo and then releases the pyronado normally (while covered in flames or some shit). If you are in single player mode and there are no other enemies within 150 radius the ult will cause the screen to black out, like in legend of legaia.
C6 during the ultimate if it contacts with gouba's flames it produces micheal bay effects while raining carpet bombs and shit.
Yes flat is justice.
Xingqiu
Floating Swords Duration added
Fixed crafting bug not producing any bonus when using large quantities (say 100+)
C4 Allows you to hold the elemental skill for double backflips (inspired by law from tekken) cooldown is 1 month.
C4 Elem Skill leaves a faint rainbow (when ulted)
C6 Swords emit faint rainbow color. Rainbow power motherf-
Xinyan
Hitting large enemies counts as 2 enemies.
C1 buff indicator
C2's level 3 shield has some bluish flames
C6 charged attack uses a diffent attack animation or has an indicator that it works
Xiao
Transformation Duration Indicator added
C2 now leaves a trail of anemo energy that deals tiny bit of damage , trail lasts for 1 second and deals at 0.2s intervals.
C6 plunge attack counts large enemies as 2.
C6 plunge-attack-no-cooldown-empowered-dashes uses a different particle color and produces a bullet time effect when used for the 3rd time onwards. useful for cinematic purposes
C6 during the bullet time you can sneak in a normal attack once per dash
Bullet time is always disabled in multiplayer
Zhongli
Increased pillar aoe by a tiny bit
Generates energy particles per pulse, maximum of 1 enemy per pillar
Base attack increased by 5
Travelers can redeem promo code "WHOSYOURDADDY" for additional +5 damage, regardless if they have the hero or not.
Attack ratios increased by 3% per attack category.
C1 has a slightly bigger dong eherm statue
C4 Chaos Meteor errrr I mean Order Meteor has a different rock color
C6 shield uses a different color , come on you get the drift already.
C6 Meteor is affected by the element of the barrier you are wearing. The element is dealt as secondary damage, primary damage is still geo. (flaming space rock?)
Why different coloparticles/animation when you have C1-C6 upgrade?
It makes whales feels special, and it gives F2P players something to aspire for. It makes you want to spend with all the bling. Particle recolor is easy peasy and can be deployed within minutes. Attack animations on the other hand are time consuming. It almost always put smile in people's faces when a whale shows up in a ferrari. "Dude check this out a C6 GeoDaddy joined my domain run. Look at the size of his statue. Oh my what a BIG meteor."
Why are you doing this?
It's just for my amusement. I'm still adding random thoughts now that 1.3 has launched. I don't care if nothing gets implemented. I would nut hard in my shorts with QoL and alleged bug/bugfixes mentioned in this post more than anything.
Afterword
Leave your thoughts below. Sorry and not sorry for the broken engrish , feel free to copy and paste whatever, use it wherever idc as long as it doesn't annoy or harm someone. Translate it in your language etc. No credits needed etc. Let your mind flow
After-Afterword
Thanks for the awards and all kinds of reception
You guys are awesome and insane that's a shit load of awards thank you.
Catalogue for Previous Weeks - F.A.Q Song of the Week This article is far too long to fit within the thread word limit, so it's going to be continued in a child comment which I'll link when it gets there. Furthermore, I've elected to name a few pokemons who technically have niches but too fringe to expand more on. Some of them can be found in previous weeks if appropriate. RBY Rhydon and Golem are the most prominent Ground types in the tier, the former with significant more usage stats in the modern metagame. Their shared Rock Ground typing hardwalls Zapdos and, to a much less prominent degree, Jolteon and Moltres. They’re also both countered by Exeggutor, as well as weak to the very popular Blizzard slamming them on their pitiful special bulk. Rhydon is the significantly more popular of the two. It boasts better bulk, though not to a significant degree. More crucially, it has a 130 base Atk that allows its Earthquake to 2HKO Chansey, 3HKO Slowbro (sometimes), and 3HKO Snorlax. As it threatens these slower bulky mons, it can use many opportunities to set up a Substitute. Rhydon is the only viable user of the move this generation, seeing as it doesn’t block status in gen 1, but Rhydon was already immune to Thunder Wave. It needs to watch out for Sleep Powder & Stun Spore from Exeggutor, however. STAB Rock Slide helps it chase out the fliers which it walls, and the last move slot is reserved for Body Slam, whose only real use is to threaten Paralysis on Starmie or Exeggutor’s switching in. Rhydon can be an incredibly dangerous threat given some Paralysis support, and being immune to Thunder Wave itself is a great characteristic to have. Golem’s advantages over Rhydon are: speed (which outspeeds nothing more than opposing Rhydons) and Explosion. Its Earthquake misses on very important benchmarks, and therefore it leverages its Explosion, the 2nd strongest move in the game behind Snorlax’s Self-Destruct, to wallbreak for its teammates. While Rhydon can be a late-game sweeper, Golem instead darts in and out of battle to scout for the perfect Explosion timing. OHKO-ing an opposing Tauros can be game-breaking, but it has to be very careful of Gengar or opposing Rock Grounds absorbing it. Not mentioned: Sandslash GSC The ground typing becomes even more prominent in this generation. As Blizzard has been largely phased out, along with the legendary Electrics being on every single team spamming Thunder, every notable Ground types can act as a switch to them. Nidoking is an excellent offensive threat in the GSC metagame. Aside from STAB EQ, it also learns the famed Ice Beam Thunder(bolt) coverage that allows it to punish many EQ switchins like Zapdos, Skarmory, or Cloyster. While its power without super effective coverage isn’t amazing, only boasting 92/85/85 offensive stats, the move that truly pushes it into great territory is Lovely Kiss. GSC Sleep isn’t as terrible as RBY Sleep, but it’s nevertheless a huge momentum swing. Nidoking therefore can take advantage of this to fire off strong attacks to eventually break through its usual checks given the right opportunity, something no other mixed sweepers can do. If desired, it can also run Thief to steal enemy checks’ Leftovers at the cost of a moveslot. Steelix is the new evolution of the worthless Onyx, with excellent physical bulk and an auspicious Steel Ground typing. This makes it not weak against the common Hidden Power Ice which the legendary Electrics run, and acts as a near surefire counter to them unless they carry the rarer HP Water. Its base Atk is a pitiful 85, however, and therefore it relies more on Explosion like RBY’s Golem to break walls, but also carry Roar to act as a phaser against things like Mono-lax, Raikou, or Perish Trap Misdreavus. This shuffling also allows its team to rack up more Spikes damage. The last move is often Curse, which allows it to create some offensive pressure with a boost or two, and then abuse Roar even further. Golem returns with renewed vigor. Having learnt Rapid Spin in a Spike-ridden metagame, Golem found itself as one of the better role compression mons that acts as an Electric check, Rapid Spinner, phaser, and Snorlax check all in one. It still never enters a battle without Explosion, and its poor special bulk means that it must scout enemy Hidden Power lest it becomes a free kill. Nevertheless, Rapid Spin is such an important utility that it sees consistent usage on many teams, so much so that the rare Hidden Power Water from Zapdos or Raikou are mostly aimed to remove it. Unlike other Spinners, Golem matches up poorly against the spiking Cloyster and Forretress, and requires offensive support elsewhere to make sure the hazards stay off. Marowak boasts the strongest Earthquake in the game. While somewhat gimmicky, its Swords Dance set can give it the maximum 999, and with Spikes support can OHKO nearly the entire metagame at +2. However, this requires serious backup, as Marowak is otherwise painfully slow, frail, and cannot hold Leftovers. Furthermore, help against Skarmory is highly appreciated, as even with 999 Atk, a Rock Slide only 3HKOs the metal bird, who is immune to Spikes and can proceed to phaze Wak out. The 4th moveslot is usually either HP Bug to slam Exeggutor on the switch, or Rest to give it a second chance at sweeping. To get Marowak to work, some support with Agility Baton Pass from Jolteon, or Screens from Blissey is recommended, especially since the latter can Heal Bell off the sleep from Rest. Rhydon has taken quite a fall in viability since the last generation. With weaknesses to many special attacks, Machamp, and Earthquakes, Rhydon finds itself hard-pressed to accomplish much. Unlike Golem, it provides no utility for the team aside from Roar, and the Snorlax-checking Steelix isn’t weak to Grass, ice, nor 4x weak to Water. Rhydon runs a Curse set to take advantage of its strong 130 Atk and natural physical bulk, as being slower in this generation means your Roar will go first. It cannot get past Skarmory, but can still provide some strong hits to break walls with. Quagsire’s sole niche is a near fool-proof counter for the legendary Electrics, being immune to their Thunders and not weak to either HP Ice or Water. Its typing makes it a decent mixed wall, as not a lot of pokemons run Grass moves this generation, and can use the free turns its ok bulk generates to set up Belly Drum. EQ and HP Rock makes an ok attacking combo, and Rest can be used for longevity. If unable to set up, however, it’s defensively outclassed by the likes of Miltank or Raikou, and offensively outclassed by Marowak or Snorlax. One must build their team capable of taking advantage of this offensive defensive combination to justify using Quagsire. Not mentioned: Piloswine, Sandslash, Donphan, Gligar, Nidoqueen ADV Zapdos continues to be a prominent threat, and the rise of Tyranitar, Aerodactyl, and general Rock Slide coverage gives Grounds even more viability. Lastly, an immunity to Sand in a tier where Tyranitar is king effectively boosts the longevity of all Ground pokemons, allowing them to actually gain health in Sand with Leftovers. Swampert is the face of bulky waters in gen 3. It’s one of the most sturdy DD Tyranitar counters there are, resisting Rock unlike its Water-type brethren, and can also act as a catch-all check to many more prominent physical sweepers in the tier like Metagross, Aerodactyl, and DD Salamence. It’s so prominent that it basically forced many, many pokemon to run HP Grass just to have a chance to get past it. As a pokemon itself, however, Swampert can be as defensive or as offensive as one likes, possessing decent mixed offensive stats to complement its STAB EQ and Hydro Pump / Surf, while carrying Ice Beam for many Flying types, especially Salamence, and Grasses, like Celebi. It also has access to the great Focus Punch, which allows it to threaten Snorlax and Blissey while OHKO-ing max HP Tyranitar, something its Hydro Pump cannot do. Toxic, Roar, Protect, Refresh are all excellent moves for a more defensive variant. No matter what set it’s running, Swampert’s role in ADV OU cannot be understated, and is therefore one of the most common offensive / defensive threats of the metagame. Dugtrio has gained Arena Trap this generation, and becomes one of the best revenge killers of the metagame. While it’s not very strong, the introduction of Choice Band gives it the power to achieve crucial KOs, and its amazing base 120 Spe means it can outrun basically any threat it encounters. The list of its victims is vast: Tyranitar, Metagross, Jirachi, Blissey, Celebi, opposing Dugtrio, Breloom, and many, many more. It’s undoubtedly a metagame defining threat, as something like Jolteon is considered superior to the legendary Raikou by many simply due to its Dugtrio-beating speed and access to Baton Pass to escape trapping. It’s also a very important team member of special offence, an almost required piece that exists solely to reliably remove Blissey, sometimes by the otherwise unseen Beat Up. Claydol is the Rapid Spinning Ground type of ADV. Its unique Ground Psychic typing along with Levitate means it resists all of Ground, Fighting, Electric, and Rock, and is immune to Spikes and Dugtrio’s Arena Trap. All of this means that Claydol finds many opportunities to switch in and get off a spin against many common attacks like Rock Slide, EQ, Thunderbolt etc. It also possesses a STAB Psychic to threaten out the most common spinblocker of the tier: Gengar. Finally, Explosion gives it utility as a wallbreaker, especially if running Adamant to threaten out most of the Explosion-resistant pokemon with Earthquake. However, its support requires teammates’ help against Skarmory, as it can’t meaningfully threaten the metal bird, who often forces the issue with Drill Peck. Flygon is last. Its Ground Dragon typing and Levitate means it’s also resistant to QuakeSlide and Spikes, while also not being weak to HP Bug from DD TTar or HP Grass aimed at a teammate’s Swampert. While its 100/80/100 offensive stats won’t be winning awards, STAB EQ and a myriad of offensive options almost guarantees it’ll find a target to hit, and its defensive profile is excellent for finding chances to enter the field. It can even run a more defensive Protect Toxic set that abuses its defensive capabilities to spread status and break down many teams late-game. Not mentioned: Gligar, Steelix, Donphan, Marowak, Camerupt, Rhydon DPP Stealth Rocks (SR) was introduced in this generation and became the most influential move in the metagame. Coincidentally, Ground types get them. Swampert returns once again as the premier bulky water. With Tyranitar as popular as ever with physical Pursuit, Superpower, and STAB Stone Edge, Swampert’s defensive capabilities are called into need once again. That said, the physical special split also gave it access to physical water STAB in Waterfall and special Ground STAB in Earth Power, along with extra Ice Punch and Superpower coverage for the physical side. The most popular sets feature SR in some way, to guarantee Pert value as either a lead or a role player, either with max Atk for more damage, or mixed defence to be more of a tank. In this capacity, physical coverage is far more popular. If even more offence is desired, a bulky Choice Band set that runs Stone Edge for Zapdos and Gyarados can do a bit of wallbreaking, or even Modest special set with Hydro Pump spamming. However, these more offensive options remain unpopular compared to the utility set. Gliscor features an excellent Ground Flying typing that gives it only 2 weaknesses, a SR neutrality but a Spikes immunity, and resistant to the new Close Combat and Superpower. 75/125/75 defences make for an excellent physical defensive profile, and 95/95 offensive stats are surprisingly decent for a mon with such great bulk. Its Stallbreaker set is its most popular, running Taunt to shut down recovery attempts on walls while also preventing offensive mons from setting up on it, and Roost for reliable recovery. If some offensive power is needed, it can run a Swords Dance set to abuse its natural bulk to gain multiple boosts due to its incredible staying power. Its attacks usually consisted of the mandatory STAB EQ, Ice Fang for Flyings, Dragons, and the occasional grasses, and perhaps Thunder Fang for bulky waters or Wing Attack for Breloom. Taunt and SR also make Gliscor a decent lead, as it can U-Turn out to keep momentum. Flygon appreciated the generational shift very much. It gained an excellent physical dragon STAB in Outrage, and U-Turn allows it to run a very effective Choice Scarf set to utilise its good speed and great neutral coverage in just Outrage and Earthquake. Its last slot on a Scarf set can therefore be very flexible, either Thunder Punch for Gyarados, Dragon Claw for more stable STAB, or Toxic to cripple a wall. The new Life Orb also synergises well with its mixed move pool, allowing it to drop powerful Draco Meteor while still running Earthquake and Fire Blast to crush the Steels that resist its Dragon STAB. Roost can be used on this set to offset Life Orb recoil and give Flygon more general longevity, but if Expert Belt is run instead, U-Turn is always an excellent option. Nidoqueen, despite its NU placement, is an excellent OU Stall machine. Its claim to fame is the new Toxic Spikes, and on stall teams the Poison Ground typing provide resistant to Fighting and Rock, which couples with 90/87/85 mixed bulk to check the likes of Breloom, Lucario, and Tyranitar, especially since EQ as a coverage move is rarely ran, and Poison Point can punish a lot of the U-Turn spammers in the tier. A lack of recovery does hurt, and thus Nidoqueen prefers Protect to get as much recovery out of Black Sludge as possible. While Nidoqueen’s offences aren’t anything special, its vast movepool means that its moveset can be specifically tailored to cover the threats which the rest of its team does not. Hippowdon is the alternate Sand setter of the tier. While most prefer Tyranitar’s offensive prowess, Hippo itself is a near sure-fire Tyranitar counter, boasting a titanic physical bulk of 108/118 that can sit on most of the physical threats of the metagame. It complements this by excellent recovery in Slack Off, and SR which allows Hippo to always get pressure out of the switch. Roar synergises with this even more, racking up damage on the pesky flying types or Levitate-rs that otherwise walls it. If a more direct option is preferred, Ice Fang can slam the Gliscor and Dragons. Still, since it relies on pure bulk more than resistances to wall physical threats, it’s usually very specially frail, and has a weakness against some physical threats in Gyarados and Breloom. Mamoswine boasts a meaty 130 Atk stat, and a unique STAB combination of Ground and Ice. Its Ice Shard is an excellent priority move which knocks the life out of dangerous threats like Latias, Flygon, and Gliscor, its STAB EQ crushes most neutral targets, and for everything else, there’s Stone Edge. Life Orb is the most popular item, allowing it to switch moves and especially abuse Ice Shard to finish off faster threats should the opportunity arise. While Superpower is a fine 4th move to slam Steels not weak to EQ like Bronzong or Skarmory, and OHKO Blissey without a second thought, Stealth Rocks can be used here to exert some pressure as the opponent switches out. Choice Band is an alternative, but locking into any of those four moves can be exploited heavily. Focus Sash makes Mamo a decent SR lead as well. Despite all this, its typing gives it a lot of common weaknesses, and 80 speed isn’t nearly as good as it used to be. Quagsire lived under Swampert’s shadow in gen 3, but access to reliable recovery in Recover as well as Encore to counter setup sweepers gave it a niche this generation. As Swampert’s more often than not opt for offence this generation, Quagsire is a fine defensive Water Ground type that walls Starmie (with Water Absorb), Metagross, or Tyranitar. Its moveset is very predictable, however, as after the prerequisite Earthquake, the last move is either Toxic for more residual damage or Ice Punch for Flygon or Dragonite. Quagsire is extremely predictable, and must be used with consideration. Gastrodon is yet another Water Ground type. While it isn’t immune to Water, and therefore doesn’t counter Starmie or Gyarados, it has Sticky Hold which makes it immune to Trick from a lot of choice-d pokemons. Its sole unique role is therefore as a Curse sweeper that’s immune to Trick, who sports good mixed bulk and Recover for longevity. Waterfall + Earthquake a.l.a Swampert is good enough coverage, but it’ll struggle to beat the likes of Gyarados or Latias with such limited coverage. Rhyperior is a fierce wallbreaker, as 140 base Atk is nothing to scoff at, and its attacking options ranging from STAB EQ + Stone Edge to coverage in Aqua Tail, Megahorn, or Fire Punch are all excellent options. However, it’s really, really slow, and therefore easily forced out with its double 4x weaknesses and poor special bulk, even with Solid Rock or Sandstorm SpD boost to soften them. Choice Band is by far the most powerful option, boasting the ability to 2HKOs everything in the metagame with the right coverage. However, it doesn’t have a lot of opportunities to fire off this power due to its speed and poor matchup against the bulky waters of DPP like Swampert or Milotic. Donphan gained SR and Ice Shard this generation. It’s now a fairly respectable Rapid Spinner in the metagame with excellent physical bulk and priority. For the most part, it’s a fine support pokemon that aims to set up SR, takes a few physical hits, and threatens revenge kills against Dragons with Ice Shard. It’s a very one dimensional pokemon in this aspect, but its effectiveness as a Rapid Spinner is appreciated. Not mentioned: Dugtrio (R.I.P), Steelix, Nidoking, Camerupt, Gastrodon BW Landorus-Therian is a name one should not fail to keep in mind. It has Gliscor’s auspicious typing, combined with an excellent ability in Intimidate, fearsome 145/105/91 mixed offensive stats, and a respectable 89/90/80 bulk if kept in mind its typing and ability. Lando-T is is one of the best pokemon of gen 5 OU, and is one of the best glues for any good non-rain team. Its Choice Scarf set is an excellent scout and revenge-killer, with a strong U-Turn to punish the like of Latios. Lando-T is in fact so common that it also runs HP Ice for the mirror matchup, despite it not hitting too many other relevant targets. Earthquake is its STAB move of choice, but any other move can be slotted in and out depending on sets. Stone Edge is a natural pairing on the Scarf set, but Superpower is a fine option to drop Skarmory, Ferrothorn, or Air Balloon Heatran. If an offensive pivot is desired, just drop the Scarf and speed for a bulky spread and either Leftovers or Rocky Helmet, and you have one of the best physical checks of the metagame against the dangerous Terrakion. Lastly, access to either Swords Dance, Rock Polish, or even both on the same set can turn Lando-T into a fearsome sweeper at the drop of a hat. Excadrill is another gen 5 addition, and after a tumultuous history of ban and unban, it settles into the metagame as the best non-rain Rapid Spinner, a.l.a old Donphan. However, it instead boasts Steelix’s typing and a 135 base Atk, making sure that Jellicient cannot simply switch into its Spin with impunity in fear of eating a STAB Earthquake. Its most common set is an offensive spread but with Leftovers and Protect for longevity, befitting of a Rapid Spinner. Unlike most other Grounds, it prefers STAB Iron Head to Rock coverage, as the former hit Latios harder, and can help it beat Breloom. As a Spinner, it can either lean into an offensive spread with STABs, or a more defensive SpD spread that prioritises its laundry list of resistances, especially to Dragon, for better longevity. Though Sand Rush is banned, a Scarf set works perfectly fine to revenge kill, or get up a desperate fast Rapid Spin before falling. Sand Force comes in nicely here, as Exca runs all 3 types of moves that get the boost in its STABs + Rock Slide. Garchomp dropped to OU this generation, but perhaps that was the chance it needed to flex its power on the metagame. While it’s never seen without its trusty Earthquake, the sheer breadth of sets this pokemon can and does run boggles the mind. The most popular is a very straightforward Choice Scarf set to elevate a great 102 base Spe, and would be great even with just 2 moves in Outrage and Earthquake. It can afford to run Dual Chop for Sash Zam or Multiscale Dragonite, or just straight up Dragon Claw as a more reliable 3rd move. The last move on a scarf set is usually a fire coverage, either Fire Fang or Fire Blast, to roast the likes of Skarmory, Bronzong, or Ferrothorn. As a sweeper, Garchomp leverages its forced switches well with a Substitute Swords Dance set that uses Salac Berry to boost its Spe past most opposing Scarf revenge killers, as its sheer STAB combination is so good on its own. If desired, one can run just an offensive Stealth Rocks set like other Ground types, but Garchomp’s Rough Skin means it has extra synergy with Rocky Helmet that really punishes U-Turn while being simultaneously immune to Volt Switch. Gliscor gains the excellent Poison Heal this generation, giving it amazing passive recovery and immunity to statuses. For the most part, it uses its typing and access to reliable recovery to spread Toxic with Substitute, while having STAB Earthquake to slam the Steels and Poisons immune to the status. Being always poisoned means that it now has access to Facade as a really strong neutral move to complement its EQ, and thus the Swords Dance Roost set yet see a healthy amount of usage. While Gliscor can’t get past Skarmory at all, its general positioning against the rest of the physical metagame means it will probably always have value in a team, especially if running Taunt. As with all Ground types this generation, it can run a support Stealth Rocks set as well that spread statuses in the meantime. Mamoswine is once again an excellent offensive threat. Having learnt Icicle Crash as a strong STAB Ice attack this generation, its general offensive coverage with just its STABs is very notable. As DragMag becomes a legitimate offensive force in the metagame, Mamoswine can be found with or against them, leverage Ice Shard to shut down the Salamence, Dragonite, or Garchomps one can find on those teams. Superpower is a great general coverage move to slam Ferrothorn and Kyurem-B with, and Stealth Rocks is always an option that goes well with priority and a Focus Sash. Gastrodon gained a water immunity this generation, and has propelled into stardom as an anti-rain wall. Its distinction comes from being a Keldeo check that isn’t weak to Pursuit, unlike Jellicient and Latios, and instead spreads status of its own with Toxic and the ridiculous Scald. It also stops Thundurus-T cold, something many other Keldeo checks cannot claim. Physically defensive is the most common spread to fulfil this niche, and with proper support from the rest of its teammates to cover its vulnerability to Toxic and Grass types, Gastrodon is a stalwart defensive answer to many of the metagame’s biggest threats. Seismitoad is Gastrodon but with Stealth Rocks, in essence. It does everything else Gastrodon does a little worse due to its poorer bulk and no access to Recover, but the role compression can be highly desirable on more offensive teams who prioritise the momentum that hazards give, rather than a long-term wall like Gastro is. Hippowdon once again plays second fiddle to Tyranitar as a physically defensive Sand setter. Reliable recovery means it can act as a check to many strong physical threats and prevent their setting up with Whirlwind, while setting up Stealth Rocks of its own. Its poor special bulk and weakness to Rain spam means that it might not always put it as much work as it wants to against opposing Rain, but if you want your Sand setter to also be a physical wall, Hippo’s the one for the job. Not mentioned: Dugtrio (R.I.P), Golurk, Nidoking, Nidoqueen Continued here in a comment
Edit: These are great! Thanks to all contributors,past and future. From a couple posts in today “Free talk Friday” post, I had an idea. It may be fun... Following the format from this comment from u/elliewinks30, what are your thoughts? *Law of Rare Items* - rare items will inevitably appear on the board with 2 seconds left and no hope of collecting before the round ends *Corollary* - itemt drops fine, but then stops on the second to the bottom row and then there are no more matches right there for the rest of the game and so it remains uncollectable. *Law of Rare items addendum* - should also include 2x items in events. Seems like I can play the last 25 seconds of a game with nary an item in sight, then boom, a 2x item with 2 seconds to go. *Another corollary to the law of rare items* - After a long and arduous effort to get the last of a rare item, within seconds of collecting it one or two more will pop up on the screen. Doubly so if you're not using a lucky emoji. *Law of common items* - when you only need one more common item you will receive 50 of the ones you have completed first *Law of Bonus time* - when finishing up bonus time after the round ends, the power ups remaining on the board will automatically swipe in the opposite direction of where you need them to. *Law of Creating Stars* - Just as you trigger an emoji's power that removes emojis from the board, you notice where you could have made a star. You get to watch as the emoji's power blasts off the emojis, thus removing the possibility of a star. *Law of Rainbow Falls* - Getting a Level 5 score at Level 1 and a Level 1 score at Level 5. *Law of ‘Just one more game’* - When you can barely keep your eyes open any more, and suddenly win a 5 lives prize. *Law of Missions* - Only after clearly the Daily Challenges or spinning the Prize Wheel will missions appear requiring these *Law of “that one character”* - regardless of the type of mission, rest assured when the rng comes up it will be your worse emoji for that type of thing and all in one game to boot exaggerated example “score 70 million in one game with level one Jack Sparrow” or “use 9 stars+suns in one game with Mickey Mouse” *Law of the Prize Wheel* - You will spin the wheel four times. Of those four times, you will land on 300 coins three. *Law of star combinations* - When you need to make a staother, you will get 4 stars on the board, and you will not be able to get an item or other power-up next to said star, without destroying said star from maneuvering the board to get them next to each other in the first place. *Law of unforeseeable cascades* - if you need an item/star, you will get 4 stars on the board. You will carefully make swaps so that if an item falls, it will be in the same column as one of your star. You will make a swap which sets off a cascade from new emoji drops, and an item will fall at least a column away from all four stars. *Law of Item Sandwiches* - When you need a stastar combo, an item will inevitable sandwich itself between them. *Law of Balloons* - you will never, ever remember to pop balloons on the screen the first time that mission comes up. You're lucky if you remember the 10th. *Law of “House always wins”* - Las Vegas style slot machine. Where the odds are so greatly locked against you. *Law of Spectacular Repeat* - every time you do something spectacular out of pure luck that you have no chance of repeating in this lifetime, the same feat will spawn as a mission immediately after. *Law of multi-map events* - you struggle to get items or clears all the way up to the last box when you finally need only 2 to end the map. And you get 17. *Laws of arbitrary color emoji* - Example: Score 10000000 with a yellow emoji. Okay, I just happened to use Gonzo for another mission and he counted, but I use King Candy, who has significantly MORE yellow and he doesn't count? *Law of Missions* - You will instantly forget which mission you are trying to clear as soon as you hit play. Was it horizontal or vertical swaps? What were the combo items? Was it blitz mode or regular? Who knows?? *Second Law of Missions, corollary to law of balloons* - Despite specifically checking what the missions are before starting, you will often forget the details during the game. Was is just matching suns or only during blitz, horizontal or vertical, etc.? Every time this happens, you wish you could see the mission details if you pause and get annoyed that you can't. *Law of the 3 Live Spin* - you will rack up 6-9 more lives when you don’t have time to keep playing but when you have zero lives and nothing to do you you’ll spin no lives *Law of Lowering Proficiency* - on your 25th game a continuous cascade resulting in 3 rainbow stars, a sun and a score of 300,000 happens *Law of frozen screen or glitch* - this only happens when you are having the game of your life. You’ll finish the combo mission, get the 3 items you’ve been needing and the game will freeze or never end, forcing you to quit, lose a life and have to start over. *Law of being one short* - most commonly happens on a daily challenge. You’ll have under 5 to go, usually only 1 in order to complete a mission *Law of conflicting emojis* - 1 to 3 of your missions will require different emojis, not allowing any multitasking. Most commonly happens during an event adding another element of conflict *Law of spending diamonds* - You spend diamonds on a box hoping for a specific character and fail. Then you get the character you wanted for free when you complete an event map. *Law of Villain Events* - You will collect an item before the Villain’s power triggers, but it won’t be credited in time and the villain will attack anyways. *Law of Event Switching* - when you switch to a non-event emoji to complete a mission, when you switch back to an event emoji you will forget to turn the event back on and you will waste a life.
"This is why we fight. And to be honest, I like a good fight. The adrenaline spike of battle. The rush. The challenge. And now that I've admitted that, I'll admit something else: Lately, it's been scaring me that I like it. That I look forward to it so much."
Here's the situation: Earth is under attack by a race of parasitic slug-like aliens known as Yeerks. They slither into your head through your ear canal and fold over your brain, slowly taking control of you. Anyone and everyone you know could secretly be a Yeerk, waiting for the right time to infest you too. This nightmare was reality for the Animorphs, five young kids (and an alien) given Andalite morphing technology that let them absorb the DNA of animals and transform into them. One of the original six Animorphs and the bruiser of the team. While Rachel was just a pretty ordinary teenage gymnast/shopping enthusiast before getting her morphing powers, the thrill of combat lead her to developing a love for fighting. This violent streak would prove as both an asset and a detriment to the Animorphs over the course of their war against the Yeerks. Her two combat morphs - the elephant and the grizzly bear - are easily among the strongest morphs anyone on the team has. Feats are tagged like this, with the first # being the number of the book in the series and the second being the chapter number. Hover over a feat for the tag.
B#C# - Main series
C#C# - Chronicles series
M#C# - Megamorphs series
Feats from Megamorphs 4 are from an alternate reality where the characters never got morphing powers, and feats from book 32 are from a time when Rachel was split into two Rachels. These should all be equivalent to the original Rachel. For Rachel's Super-Rachel form from book 48, check out this comment.
I've been using Betway for 6 months now. I would like to use Bet365, however being from Canada, Bet365 doesnt actually accept the bank I use. So I ended up on Betway. They have this offer on their app thats called the prize wheel daily chance at small winnings, resetting every 24 hours. One of the winnings is three free spins on a slot machine I gave it a go and didnt win anything. Whatever no big deal. Check my balance later and I have lost 15 dollars. I was confused and when contacted support they said I lost it during the slot machine. I told them that their prize wheel offered me three free spins this must be a mistake. They said they cant prove it on their end and asked me if I recorded the event on my device. I said no because why would any regular person do that. And they said sorry cant help. So be careful with this site. All Im saying. 15 dollars is whatever. But I just dont like the way they handled things and I would rather ppl not lose more money in similar situations.
I was asked to make a post about some stories within the Casino grounds so I thought I'd share. I have many so I'll do my best to pick the better ones. Some back information: I've been a Casino Dealer for 11 years, I've been a supervisor for five years, and I've been a Surveillance Operator for one year. I've worked at three properties, none of which are connected or owned by the same company. I've worked on : Government/Private/Native American owned casinos.
From Hero to Zero.
At my first Casino, I was one of the first group of people who were trained to deal Roulette . After 4 weeks of working 6PM-3AM then doing roulette training from 3AM-8AM (Not paid) , I actually really enjoyed the game and after about six months I became extremely quick at the number game and the pace of the action was steady with very low margin of errors. Young man walks in, cashes in for $500. He buys in for $2 chips and just loads the board. After a few spins and pretty decent hits, he then changes his chips from $2 to 5$ then to $10 and racks his winnings up to $10,000. It was then, five spins in a row, he loaded the board with some pretty gross bets, and every spin I would hit the ONE number with either NO CHIPS on it, or maybe 1 chip , He lost all $10,000 in a matter of minutes. He leaves , and I go on break. After my break I was going back to the same table and wouldn't you know it, the same young man walks in and cashes in another $500. He tells me he just sold his car outside and this is all that he had left. So we do the same deal, buys in for $2 chips, then slowly starts betting $5 chips, $10, $25...and he makes $10,000 AGAIN. Within the next 25 minutes it was straight agony. Every spin, same thing, he would bet $2500 in chips, and win only $250, $400, and after about a half hour he lost it all . Never saw the guy again. 2) Man down At this property, we are 24 hours for table games. It's currently 5AM , and I'm dealing some $25 Blackjack to this guy. He's probably early thirties , heavy guy. He's sober as can be, but right away I can tell he's been losing. We know how much you've bought in for, how much your down, or up, and I could see he was down $2000+. After about twenty minutes of pure losing, his temper starts to flare.At this point I now have two other guests at my table. Drinking coffee, not saying a word, just losing their money. After losing hand, after hand, this guy looks me straight in the eye, seized up, starts shaking, he can't move. He tries to punch towards me and smashes his stack of chips all over the place and falls backwards to the floor. I call for security, we cannot touch him due to liability . I can't move from my table because, well, liability / casino cash property, all I can do is try to talk to him. As I'm doing so, these other two woman who are sitting at my table just look at me and one says "OK, dealer, cmon lets go " as she taps the table telling me to start dealing and forget about the guy having a stroke on the floor. As security takes him to the ambulance out front, I had to stay behind for a couple minutes and give a statement. I go on break. I come back, and 45 minutes later, he comes right back in with a oxygen tank and keeps gambling for the remainder of the morning. 3) You get a dildo, and YOU get a dildo! On a late summer Saturday night, we had a large event for these massive muscle guys/strongman competition type thing. After their show, I'm at the roulette table , and five of these boys come over to play. They were absolutely hilarious. They were feeling pretty good, cashed in somewhat large amounts and I could tell this was going to be a fun time. After about a hour of dealing to these guys, it's almost midnight, everybody is pretty hammered , I spin the ball, and all five of these guys take out these god damn (what I can only tell was) two feet purple dildos from inside their pants, and wiping them around in the air. The ladies were just loving it, one of the dildos landed in the roulette wheel and we had to shut the table down to re-calibrate the wheel to make sure nothing had been changed. I just remember that night was so much damn fun, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I would never forget it. 4) Full Moon On this day, I was actually training dealers / supervising them on small games like Three Card poker. We opened the table at 10AM, and this older man came and sat down . He played all day. The jackpot was $21,000 and that was pretty high for this table. He played, and played and played. He's one of the players where you know he's wearing a diaper because he's been drinking coffee/pop all day and hasn't moved in eight hours. As the day went on, this man never moved from his chair. Getting closer to midnight, he was aggravated and said "I need to go have a smoke, I'm getting killed in here". He left, and the very next hand, the lady beside him was dealt the jackpot . He didn't say much, but you could just tell he just hated life at that very moment because had he not gotten up, it would of been his hand. The man calmly took his cane , his hat, jacket, coffee, and left. The next morning I found out when he did leave he drove his car straight through his bank and was arrested. 5) Slick Robber I actually give props to people who can actually pull this off. This story may confuse you so I'll try and explain things as best as possible. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in HIS $100 bill. He doesn't gamble it, instead he hits the cash out button and gets a $100 TITO ticket where he then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100. Now remember, his Original $100 is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same machine, and repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially he's taking money from the ATM, and loading up the Slot Machine . Now he knows he can't do it too much because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out. So he deposits over $10,000 , then has a small crowbar, he cracks the machine open and makes a run out the front door. To my knowledge he was never caught . But damn, that was pretty smart . EDIT: 6) Mental Health is a thing. 10PM man walks in to play some high limit BlackJack. This guy knows the game and played well. Dressed nice, drank juice/tea , a little bit of a attitude, cashed in over $10,000. When this man was half way down his buy in, he said something a long the lines of "If I don't win here tonight, I'm going to go set myself on fire." I wasn't sure if he was serious because when people are down, they tend to say a lot of nonsense. I actually left early that night, and from a third party was told he did exactly that in the parking lot. The next day it was clear something terrible had gone wrong in the parking lot . EDIT: 7) Nothing good happens after midnight After a busy Saturday night, I was dealing a mix of games, and during this story I was in the middle of Blackjack. I had one young kid (probably 19) sitting in the middle, one older male probably in his later 40's sitting beside him on his right, and I had a really nice couple in their 20's sitting together at the other side. This young kid wasn't playing just sort of watching, and ever time the old man won he would give this young guy some of his winnings. The older man, was a wine drinker, and he had black between all of his teeth, I'll never forget. He's a little drunk but nothing terrible. As the night goes on, the older man goes and uses the washroom, at which point the couple asked the young guy "Oh was that your dad?" and the young guy says "Hah, no I wish!". The couple and I just looked at each other. This old guy, was in complete control over this kid. Absolutely disgusting. The night ends, and I find out the couple called a few of their friends, and they all waited outside by this old mans truck and beat the living hell out of him. 40 years old, sleeping with a 19 year old, completely brain washed . Very weird. 8) That one co-worker where you just wish they would quit. One of our co-workers, nice guy but had a very big ego and we as employees just sorta left him alone. One day he had enough of the atmosphere and quit. Now usually when you quit, you cannot come back until you paperwork is finalized. How ever, HR was in that day, and he was given the paperwork the very next day. He came in, cashed in $1000, and made $50,000 in about a hour at the Baccarat table. My manager, was extremely annoyed, because now this guy is just mocking the casino and having the time of his life (Thanks for the big tip by the way :) ) and so he decides to call it quits. He wants to ban himself and he wants $50,000 in cash. The casino says Nope, we are going to give you a cheque. Now here's the thing, most business people will take the cheque, how ever you CANT CASH the cheque until the following monday because it's on that day where the funds are available. The casino on the other hand will cash their own check in anytime , because they want you to play. So this guy pretty much said go to hell I want my cash, and he called the police. Police show up, and management promptly gave him the cash.I though it was absolutely hilarious . 9) No good deed goes un punished I was dealing Three Card Poker, and the jackpot was around $17,000. This old man (a regular) was sitting there all day grinding it out. Super nice guy, always a pleasure to deal to. Well, after hours of playing, he stands up and says "Hey john!, can you come here for a minute?" so his buddy John comes over. He says to John "I need to go take a piss real quick, can you play my card until I get back?" John agrees . John takes the chips and I stop him and explain he can't play his friends chips, he needs to cash in and play his own. And he does. Welp, second hand out and bam, doesn't he win it. The old man comes back and is so happy, he can't believe it. John, took his $17,000, didn't say a word to his "buddy" and walked away. I never felt so much hatred in all my life. Didn't give him a dollar, not a thank you, nothing. The old man sits back down again, the progressive resets to $2500, and he sat there grinding away again. 10) The Top Knot I had this player , young guy, who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty big sizable amount of money, so he played poker every single day for the rest of his days. I will add, he IS a good player. I did not enjoy his company just because of the "Know-it-All" attitude, but he was good. We'll call him John. John is 5'10, and well build, with muscle. John also decided today was the day to show off his Top Knot. (google top knot if you're not sure what I mean) So he sits down, and he's absolutely KILLING the table. Every hand, after hand, after hand. And because he's in such a good mood, he's playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he's just dominating. This one guy at the table decided he had enough. He got up, without saying a word and left. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind John, and takes a pair of scissors , and cuts off his Top Knot. I for one couldn't believe it, dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day. 11) That one bad seed One of my best friends who I haven't seen in YEARS ended up being part of the crew. Was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself . He wanted that 10/10 woman. A mansion, and a new Corvette. So every month or so we would all go up to the other casino to play. I myself would bring no more than $500, but I couldn't understand how this guy (we'll call him Kyle) was spending THOUSANDS of dollars at the tables. So this wen on for a few months. Well, one day, as we're closing the casino, he and I are in the High Limit room and we're getting ready to close the tables. We are told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper and that's it. Well as the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked Kyle to grab the piece of paper. As he bends over, a great big $500 chip falls right out of his sock. Kyle was fired immediately , but it all made sense. They offered Kyle a deal where if he replaced all the stolen chips they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out. 12) If I ever decide to write a book, this will be the last chapter: <3 After working at my first Casino for five years, I met a Indian woman who was visiting from another part of the country. During this time I was explaining a game to her, which honestly I don't think she even cared. She explained she was visiting and sight seeing , and that was that.Well, two years later I ended up moving to the other side of the country and transferred casinos, and low and behold she worked there as a Dealer. We got married , and it's been 5 years. 13) The Tip One of our tables that we've had for a couple years had a progressive jackpot that had reached $100,000. The dealer at the table was sitting pretty lonely. Nobody really played the game because people knew it was extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush. This young guy sits down and says to the dealer, we'll call him John. "John, if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000" Well John started dealing, and about a half hour into his shift, he F*cking did it. He dealt him the royal. And you know something?This young lad, kept his word, and he made sure there was a audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there. That pay cheque was real nice. I think we all got about $500 more than usual. The moment that jackpot was awarded they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I'm sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special . 14) The Lawsuit Now this story I'm going to have to beat around the bush a bit due to the nature of what happened. I can't won't answer any questions that you may have on this topic other than what I have to say because it had a lot of publicity . The waitresses at this casino had to wear very thin sexy clothes. Not borderline legal, but it was noticed. One day they called all the waitresses to come in and explained they were changing their outfit to something even more sexier. Now these new dresses were very very borderline legal . The staff said No way. We're not wearing that.So , friday night comes, and the staff work their whole shift, then at the end of their shift were called into a meeting and were all fired. Welp, one of those ladies father was a pretty big time lawyer. Brough the casino to court and won. They won big. Good for them. We had no waitresses for a couple days haha. Thanks for reading along, I have many more I can add as the day goes on, those were just some off the top of my head. Feel free to ask any questions of the Casino industry. I don't really have many stories about the surveillance department because that's the one area where I can't really say a whole lot due to its privacy and contracts I was and still am under.
Ranking games to do + how long it took to do. 170$ in 2 weeks
Proof: https://imgur.com/a/lFRzQTe Best one to do: War Thunder Time it took: 2 hours Reward: 700 Download & install and play 1 game... was fun too. 2nd best one to do: 21 Blitz Reward: 1200 Time it took: 2 hours Just win 25 games... doesn't require any money. Somewhat fun to do. Best Casino game: PopSlots Time it took: 2 days Reward: 2500 Was the easiest one to do. Just sit on Fire & Lightning and collect every single one you can here: https://www.myvegasadvisor.com/mobile/pop-slots-free-chips/ If you're lucky you'll get it done in a few hours. If unlucky, a few days. Second best casino game: Club Vegas Slots Time it took me: 2 days Reward: 3500 Machines don't matter as it's random, go to there facebook for free coins. Third/Fourth best casino game: Huuuuge + Billionaires(they're the same thing) Reward: 4500 each(currently 5500 each I got screwed) Billionaires took - 6 days Huuuuge took - 1 day(got lucky) On Billionaires I did it through only slots which is why it took so long. DO NOT DO THAT. GO THROUGH ROULETTE AS SOON AS YOU CAN. Billionaires I managed to snag a 2b jackpot then just did roulette the whole way then still had 1b+ so I just did 140-150 through slots(ran out of money reaaaall quick) YOU NEED TO WIN 20-22b TO HIT LEVEL 150 ON BOTH. WORST ONE IMAGINABLE: Star Slots Reward: 4000(I had it for 3000 but luckily it went up as I was doing it) Time it took: 7 days with ONE lucky break of winning 1b and machine going even for a few bil. It was 6 days of torture to even hit level 60. These slots are super rigged. Same company as Huuuuge + Billionaires but worse slot machines and nowhere near as many players. You also don't get nearly as many free stuff from your clubs, etc. YOU NEED TO HIT 11-13B TO HIT LEVEL 100. Overall, it took me 2 weeks(not really I paused a few days in between on some) of leaving my phone spinning on these things to get a new graphics card... whatever, worth.
I live in a small mining town in the mountains of Colorado. Someone is building a massive casino nearby, Pictures Included
I grew up in a small mountain town named Eureka. It was founded in the late 1800s during the gold rush, but after the mines dried up the town began its slow descent into decay. Half the houses are empty or abandoned now. You can see a picture of the kind of houses here in Eureka: First house Second house When a massive construction project began nearby, it was the talk of the town for weeks. Why would they build something in a sleepy dying town like Eureka? It wasn’t until my sister Selene talked to a few construction workers that we discovered they were building a casino. A casino up in the mountains, over two hours away from Denver. None of us could understand why they’d chosen here of all places. After a few months of work, the casino was done. I took a picture of the town with the completed casino in the background to the right. The ten-story-structure sticks out like a sore thumb off in the distance. Town+Casino After the casino opened, they hired a few dozen members of the town, offering high paying jobs to work as dealers or cleaning staff. I was already employed as a firefighter, but my sister Selene got a job as a blackjack dealer. She’s a widow with two young kids, so the paycheck was a real lifesaver. Still, something about the situation seemed too good to be true. The jobs over there paid far too well, and the management was far too accommodating. The fire station where I work is located high on a hill overlooking the town, so I began watching the casino from a distance each day. I had initially thought that the casino was located in a terrible location, but I was apparently wrong. True, Eureka was hours from any major city, but despite that, a bus full of people arrived every morning and left every evening. One night I was over at my parent’s house and had dinner with Selene and her kids. I asked her about her experience as a dealer. “It’s Ok,” she said. “Just a little boring I guess.” “Boring?” I asked. “I’m surprised you don’t have your hands full.” “Why’s that?” she asked. “It’s like you said, Eureka’s too small. I never have people playing cards. The casino is almost always completely empty.” I wasn’t sure what to make of that. If the place was always empty, what happened to the people who I’d seen arriving on buses? “I’ve been keeping an eye on the building,” I said. “A bus full of people typically arrives around 9 AM every day.” “Really?” she asked, looking confused. “If that’s true, I’ve never seen them. “I can see it from the fire station,” I said. “If you head out for a smoke break at 9 AM, you’ll probably see them arriving.” “Interesting,” she said. “I’ll do that. If they’re being processed for their organs or something, I’ll let you know.” She laughed. “Har har,” I said sarcastically. The next night she sent me a text calling me over. When I arrived, she was nearly breathless with excitement. “Orin, You were right,” she said. “A big group of people did arrive, but they didn’t walk into my part of the casino. Instead, they all walked into an elevator at the back of the building. I’m not sure where that goes.” She looked thoughtful. “It was weird. They looked… How can I say it? Desperate? Something about the whole situation was very off. I’m gonna check out the elevator tomorrow.” I told her to be careful, though, to be honest, I was excited to hear about what she discovered. When I visited my parent’s house the next night, I found her two kids there alone. They told me that Selene had never returned from work. I called all her friends, then all our neighbors, but no one had seen her since she left for work that morning. Our conversations regarding the casino flooded my mind, then a plan began to form. Early the next morning I walked across town in my nicest pair of jeans and a button-up shirt. I pushed through the door to the casino and saw that Selene wasn’t lying. The place was all but deserted. Three dozen slot machines crowded the walls surrounding a few tables interspersed throughout the floor of the casino. The only players in the whole building were Bob and Donald, two locals. I walked up to a nearby table where Bridget, a girl I’d gone to high school with, was shuffling cards. She broke into a grin when she saw me. “Hey Orin, you here for a few rounds of blackjack?” “I wish,” I said. “No, I’m here to ask about Selene. She never made it home last night.” Bridget’s expression darkened. “Really? Have you asked around?” “I already called around. Have you seen her?” She shook her head. “No, our schedules rarely line up. I’ll be sure to let you know if I--” Her eyes focused on something behind me, and she cut herself off. I turned around to see the casino’s pit boss watching us both. He was a tall thin man in an impeccably clean black suit. When I turned back towards Bridget, she was looking down at the table and shuffling cards absent-mindedly. “Well, if you hear anything, let me know,” I said. She nodded, so I turned around and headed for the pit boss. I stuck out my hand. The temperature of his hand was so hot that I had to pull my hand away after a few seconds. “Have… have you seen my sister Selene?” I asked. “She hasn’t been seen since her shift here yesterday.” He smiled. “Sir, this floor is for players. You’re more than welcome to head to the tellers for chips, but barring that I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.” I stared at him for a long second before stalking towards the door. When I looked back, he was talking with Bridget. I checked my watch. 8:55 AM, just as I’d planned. I walked around the back of the building and waited as the morning bus pulled around the building. I waited for the telltale hiss of the opening doors and the sound of people descending before I rounded the corner and joined the crowd. None of them paid any particular attention to me as I walked with them into the casino. The crowd walked through a side door down a hallway to an elevator. Small groups of people entered the elevator as the rest of us waited for our turn. I shot a glance at the casino patrons, surprised at their diversity. There seemed to be people from all different countries and ethnicities. I heard one speaking Japanese and another speaking what sounded like an African language. My turn came along with a few other patrons in the elevator. A sickly woman hobbled into the elevator beside me carrying an IV that was still connected to one of her veins. We piled in and rode up to the top. The elevator rose for a few long seconds. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but I steeled myself for something horrible. The elevator’s speaker let out a TING, then the doors opened. We all walked out onto what looked like a standard casino. Another few dozen slot machines ringed the walls, but on this floor, they were almost all occupied by customers. I took in the scene, confused at why they’d have a ground floor that was almost completely empty when this place was almost-- Selene was dealing cards at a nearby table. I jogged over and sat down at an open seat. None of the players around me paid me much attention. “Selene!” I said. “Are you OK? Did you spend the night here last night?” Her eyes were glassy and confused. She looked up at me with a dumb expression and didn’t respond to my question. “Selene?” I asked. “What’s your bet?” she asked me. “This table is for blackjack players only.” “I…” I trailed off, looking at the players around me. None of them were betting with chips of any kind. “What’s the minimum bet?” I asked. “Three years,” she responded. “Three years then,” I said, not knowing what that referred to. Selene nodded, then began dealing cards. I shot a look down at my hand. King and a 9. Selene dealt out cards for herself, showing a 9. I stood, then leaned forward again. “Should I call the police? Are you--” “Congratulations,” she said tonelessly. An almost impossibly warm hand grabbed my shoulder. I spun to see the pit boss I’d spoken to earlier. He gave an impressed smile. “Orin, was it? I’m impressed, truly. Would you mind if I had a word with you?” I shot a look back at Selene who was dealing the next round of cards. Then I got to my feet, balling my hands into fists. “What did you do to her?” The pit boss clasped his hands behind his back. “Nothing more, and nothing less than what I’m going to do to you. That is, offer you the chance to play.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” The pit boss nodded his head towards a nearby slot machine. A woman in a wheelchair pulled a lever and watched the flashing numbers spin. They exploded in a cacophony of sirens and flashing lights. “WINNER WINNER WINNER!” The machine screeched. The woman in the wheelchair put her feet on the ground and stood up on a pair of wobbly legs that had clearly never been used before. “As in any other casino,” the pit boss said, “you must wager for the chance to win.” “She... won the use of her legs?” I asked, feeling light-headed. “Wait,” I said. “I played blackjack just now. ‘Three years,’ Selene told me. What does ‘three years’ mean?” I asked. “Three years of life, of course. Did you win?” My mouth felt dry. “I-- Yes, I won.” He smiled warmly. “Congratulations. I hope you enjoy them. I can tell you from personal experience that watching the decades pass is a bore. Give it some time and you’ll be back to spend them.” I watched the pit boss’s face. He couldn’t have been more than a few years older than me, and I was in my early thirties. I looked around at the casino. No one was playing with chips of any kind. “So what?” I asked. “I won years of life. That woman won the use of her legs. What else can a person win here?” “Oh, almost anything. They can win almost anything you can imagine.” A cold feeling settled in my stomach. “And what do they wager?” His eyes flashed with greed. “Almost anything. They can wager almost anything you can possibly imagine. Anything equal in value to the item they want in return.” He nodded towards a nearby roulette table. A man stood by the table, cradling his hands. “Another finger,” he called out. He only had three fingers remaining on his left hand. As I watched, the ball came to a stop, and another finger disappeared from his left hand. The pit boss extended his hands. “Feel free to try any of our games. Bet and win whatever you’d like.” He reached out and snatched my hand. A feeling of intense warmth passed up my arm to my chest. “There,” he said. “I’ve even given you some house money to get you started. An extra decade of life, on me.” I ripped my hand away, staring at him in horror. Then I looked back at Selene. Something clicked in my mind. “You offered her the chance to play. What did she want?” I asked. “Her husband,” the pit boss said. “Quite the sad story. He died two years ago. She wanted him brought back to her.” “What did she wager?” I asked. “She wanted the chance to win a soul, the most valuable object in existence. I’m sure you can imagine what she needed to wager for the chance to win it. What she wagered is unimportant. The important question is: What do you want, Orin?” I stared at Selene with a flat expression. “I’m sure you can imagine.” His eyes flashed with greed again. “How wonderful. The casino could always make use of another dealer. Feel free to make your wager at any one of our games; I’ll be eagerly awaiting the results of your night. Oh, and do take advantage of our waitresses. We always supply food and drink for ‘high rollers’.” He walked away. I spent the next few hours trying to decide which game to play. I was going to be wagering my soul, so I wanted the highest chance possible. Slots and roulette were out. I’d done some reading online about counting cards, so I figured that blackjack gave me the best odds. I walked up to Selene’s table and sat down. “Bet?” she asked with that same toneless voice. “Three years,” I said. I spent the next hour or so doing my best to remember how to count cards. I knew that low cards added one to my count and high cards decreased it by one, but the casino used three decks. I had read something about how that was supposed to change my calculation, but I couldn’t quite remember how. Every time I won a hand, I cursed myself for not putting everything on the line. Every time I lost, I breathed a prayer of thanks that I’d waited. And all the while, I kept track of the count. I had lost fifteen years of life when the count finally reached +5. “Bet?” Selene asked. “I wager my soul so you can be free,” I said. The table around me fell silent. Selene’s eyes flickered, but she showed no other emotion as she dealt the cards. I watched my first card, punching the air in excitement when I saw a Jack. My excitement turned to ash when my second card was a four. Fourteen. I looked at her hand. One card was facedown, but the faceup card was a King. I swore loudly, staring down at my hands. “Hit?” she asked. The entire table was silently watching me. “Hit,” I said, not looking down. The table erupted in cheers. I looked down to see a 7 atop my two other cards. 21. Blackjack. I looked at Selene who flipped over her facedown card to reveal a 9. 19. I won. The glassy look left her eyes immediately. She looked around in surprise, then her eyes locked on mine. “Orin?” she asked, then almost immediately began to cry. The entire casino broke out in cheers. I grabbed her hand and headed for the elevator. The doors had begun to close when the pit boss reached out with a hand to stop them. “Congratulations,” he said, beaming. He seemed to be honestly excited. “Shouldn’t you be upset?” I asked. “Not at all. Casinos love it when we have big winners. It inspires the other players to make larger bets. I imagine I’ll gain two or three dealers before the night is through from your performance.” “Great,” I said flatly. “Now let us go.” “Not yet,” he said. “You didn’t just win, Orin. You got a blackjack. And blackjack pays out 1.5 times your bet. You won your sister’s soul and more.” I stared, not sure what to say. “What are you saying? I won half a soul extra?” The pit boss grinned wildly. “Just remember what I said. You’ll find living for decades and decades to be a boring experience. After a few centuries, you’ll be back to gamble that half a soul away. Congratulations!” He removed his hand, and the elevator doors slammed shut. I helped Selene back to her house. Her children were relieved. I watched them cry, then moved into the kitchen to start making dinner. It’s been a few days since that experience. The casino is still out there, and buses full of people still arrive. I… I cut my hand pretty bad a few days later. When I checked it an hour later, it had already healed, no scar or anything. I’m not sure exactly what I won at that casino, but there’s no way I’m ever going back. X
d100 Extremely Specific and Pretty Much Worthless Spells You'd Find In A Cheap Capsule Spell Machine - Also known as the ESPMCWCSM from Cucumber Quest
Basically what it says in the title! The only guidelines are:
It's original (no True Strikes please, we want new useless spells!)
It's fun and extremely situational.
EDIT:Thank all of you for your help! As a treat, you get to read how that Summon Greater Bathtub Drain spellwas eventually used... I highly recommend reading the Cucumber Quest webcomic if you're into wacky things like this. Check it outhere! Read the original comic if you want a little more context, it's a short read. Let's begin!
Roll
Spell
Description
1
Summon Greater Bathtub Drain
Create a giant bathtub drain on any surface!
2
Conjure Pizza
Conjure a pizza! (Components: you can only cast this spell when no one is in the mood for pizza.)
3
Neomenian Light
Call forth the light of the new moon!
4
True Mirror Sight
You see mirrors as they are; unreversed. Additionally, you can read reversed writing.
5
Cure Papercuts
A creature afflicted by a papercut regains 1 hitpoint.
The target must make an Intelligence saving throw. On a failure, the target can't remember where they put their keys, and must spend 5 minutes looking for them, only to discover they are in the last place they looked. This doesn't distract a the target from more important activities, such as combat.
When cast on a bar of soap, the soap refuses to suds and slide for a number of days equal to the number of spell slots spent to cast the spell. Casting as a cantrip creates an hour's worth of unslipping, waxy soap. It doesn't spread very well.
If you're missing exactly 1 coin to make a purchase worth at least 20, this spells gives 5 minutes of supernatural knowledge of where the nearest lost coin is. You cannot use this spell if you don't intend or want to make the purchase.
A small glitter cloud (5ft radius sphere) appears in chosen spot within 30 ft range. All creatures within the sphere must make DC12 DEX saving throw - on success they are only slightly covered in glitter that can be washed off using water after 1d4 tries; on failure the glitter gets underneath armour, between cloth fibers, in hair and into any other not air-tight cavities. No matter how many times the equipment is washed, creatures will forever find pieces of glitter, or leave 'glitter trail' anywhere they sit, lay, or move unless the glitter is magically cleaned.
Summons a tiny frog that is neither friendly nor agressive towards any creatures in it's vicinity. When attacked the frog will try to jump away. On use the DM rolls 1d100 behind screen, on 100 the frog is actually a cursed prince/princess that can be transformed back with a kiss. The frog has no way of indicating their royal nature, the party has to just try kissing it to find out.
19
Abi-Dalzim's Horrendous Hair Day
You are granted the ability to completely and utterly ruin a creature's hair (and by correlation, day). This spell can only be cast on Mondays.
20
Stupefy
Range: Self
21
Tash's Mild Giggle™
A creature within range suffers a mild, pity laugh in response to an unfunny joke. Casting time: reaction.
22
Dr. King's Appleseed Curse
The target creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or suffer the effects of this spell. The creature will randomly find appleseeds in places they least expect.
23
Sandebilitation
You hurl sand at a creature within range. That creature must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failure, that creature immediately spends their reaction to rub at their eyes. (Components: sand, which is consumed) "Is this even a spell?"
24
Summon Manager
If you are in an establishment, you can instantaneously summon the manager of said establishment.
You become a 2-foot pile of coral, colourful and somewhat fragile, for one minute. When coral, you cannot move, talk or take actions other than to observe the world around you and (if you aren't fully submerged in water) begin to asphyxiate. Fortunately, the spell ends just before the coral would die from lack of water.
Able to hear one conversation that took place where you are standing. Cannot be used in the same location more than once. No control over when the conversation was.
You conjure a humanoid you know named Kevin to appear in a space within 30 feet of you. Kevin returns to his previous location after one second. The spell fails automatically if you do not know a Kevin.
An illusory copy of one of your eyes appears in a space you choose up to one mile away, looking at the earth below. You cannot see through the eye, and the eye's size is the same as that of your own eye.
This spell conjures a flask identical to a flask already in your possession, and can only hold liquid that been poured in from the copied flask. Concentration 1 minute.
This spell creates a miniature statue of yourself with a round one inch base. It is inexpertly painted in loosely accurate colors and made from a mysterious, highly flexible material ill suited for actual statue crafting
When the target of this spell moves through entrances/exits until the next dawn, a shimmery, sparkly image manifests over them momentarily. The caster of this spell designates the image. The target can make a charisma saving throw against your spell save dc as an action to gain control of the image until the spell ends.
Opens a portal to a special dimension that socks disappears to during laundry and retrieve the first sock you can grasp. The odds of getting one of your own lost socks are astronomical.
All creatures within a 15ft radius centred on a point you choose must make a Charisma Saving throw. On a failed save, creatures must let out a small chuckle after everything the caster says for the duration (10 minutes)
Reveals the location of a random object you lost (roll d100 to determine which one). The spell fails if you cast it while actively looking for that specific object.
For the duration, you sense the presence of propaganda within 30 feet of you. If you sense propaganda in this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around any visible creature or object in the area that bears a political agenda, and you learn its indoctrination campaign, if any.
The target turns into another version of herself which is exactly her but with nausea. Worlds spins around for her and she has disadvantage on Perception checks, but has advantage on any attack roll to attempt to puke on someone.
Your magic turns biscuits into beast shapes. Choose any number of cookies, crackers, or pretzels that you can see within range. You transform each target into the vague shape of a large or small beast with a Challenge Rating of 3 or higher. The size of the affected snack does not change.
Grants a Fly speed equal to land speed to any creature that has wings, yet does not naturally fly. Notably less effective than you might expect on penguins, who only waddle on land, anyway.
When the caster next falls asleep, they will sleepwalk. There is no rhyme or reason to where the sleepwalker will go, but they will always end up back in bed by morning, and can be shaken awake by other creatures as normal. Invented to save time on physical exercise and leave more time for studying magic, dubiously effective.
Transmutes a quantity of nearby cordage into a similar volume of live serpents. The snakes are non-venomous, but probably somewhat irritated about being all knotted together. Requires concentration.
Launches a dart of slime at a target within 60 feet. The dart can actuate a button if it hits, or deal 1d2 (acid?) damage to a creature. It isn't terribly accurate, though.
A 5 foot hole appears, with a metal pole protruding from the center. If a player slides down the pole, they are magically transported to the nearest cave that is lower than their current location. Lasts one minute.
Creates a bright colored plush bear costume, sized for the caster, or a willing creature they designate. The suit gives +1 to AC and charisma, but -2 to dexterity, and disadvantage on sleight of hand and stealth checks. The kids love it, though. Lasts one day, or until removed. The color is random with each casting.
Causes someone to grow a long, sharp nose. If the target tries to use their nose as a knife, it breaks their nose and causes 1d6 rounds of nose bleeds.
Gives the caster the ability to impart inanimate objects perfect balance by touch. For one minute, touched objects will adjust themselves to be perfectly balanced on the surface they rest on and will remain balanced when the caster's touch is removed. Objects must be moveable by the caster.
Summons a rounded stone. When placed in a cooking pot the stone produces 12 servings of soup flavored by the nearest edible ingredients. The ingredients are consumed by the spell. The stone disappears when removed from the pot.
Any creature with less than a hundred hit points and loose morals (as defined by the DM) within a 60 foot range of the caster can be targeted by this spell. If slected, a target must succeed on a constitution saving throw, or be forced to sell out. Their clothes and weapons are covered in sponsorship stickers, and they must spend every rpund until the spell ends preforming an ad read for their sponsor- Raid: Shadow Legends.
94
Voice Crack
You use a reaction to inflict a prepubescent voice affliction onto a creature with range.
95
Book of Moon
You can use your reaction to instantaneously fall unconscious until the spell ends, you take damage, or someone uses an action to slap you awake. (Components: an enchanted blue book with a moon insignia worth at least 10 gold pieces, which you close in the casting of this spell.)
96
Drying Pan
You create a small pan above your head that blocks out rain and hail.
97
Parasol
You conjure a small umbrella into your hands. (Components: it must be sunny outside.)
98
Dust Tic
You curse a creature with a minor tic in their eye.
99
Time Travel
You gain the ability to travel into the future at a rate of 60 seconds per minute.
100
Free Ticket for the Extremely Specific, Pretty Much Completely Worthless Capsule Doodad Machine!
A much tinier capsule machine appears next to the original. It seems much more worn and rusted in comparison. Roll a d10 on the ESPMCWCDM.
EDIT: New table for when spells don't fit and you've got a useless magical item you want on here!
Inside the capsule is a small, 1 inch metal rod that extends into to be a foot long when opened. When dropped, it will detect the direction of gravity by falling.
A singluar card uno if you will with 4 colors on it, red, blue , green and yellow. If this card is used select one of those colors and one artical of clothing with chanhed to that hue for 10 minutes.
A small pocket sized mirror that when looked into makes the user appear to be very attractive to others around for 1 minute however if the user is touched by a person they will be pricked like the user is barbed.
A green, slimy hand that can reach 10 feet. If the hand makes contact with a targeted item and the item is small, it is pulled back to the user. However once the hand is used it cannot be used again, it becomes covered in foul smelling dirt and is stuck to the users palm for the next 2 hours.
The capsule reveals a tiny fire doll (it was probably a Fire Elementals toy) that has a 15ft walking speed. If the doll touches a creature, it does 1 point of fire damage. The doll stays until you extinguish it.
A great sword possessed by the spirit of a long-forgotten royal chef. The blade of the sword has a cheese grater on it. It is a magical +1 greatsword, however, it must be used to prepare a meal once per day, otherwise it shrinks and becomes a 1d4 bludgeoning weapon.
If all goes well, perhaps we could make the Spell Capsule Machine a real item!
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